A Mental Alteration

Four months of college can really keep a girl busy. It’s crazy to think how far I’ve gotten, grown, and expanded my worldview over the past few months. They say your first year of college is going to be your transition year. Well, they were so right.  The beginning of the semester was grand and it still is too. The loss of a dear friend to his battle of cancer shook me a little. That going on and being away from home it was so hard to relate to people around me.  Don’t get me wrong. My new friends and mentors helped me and comforted me in the time of grieving, but it was definitely a time where God needed to intervene. The stress of homework, grades, work, and being the best Christians I could be really hit all at once during the last few weeks. You see I have the tendency to overthink and worry about the future and where I will be in the next 2 or 3 years.  It’s a constant reminder every single day that God is bigger then anything and everything I worry about. We have an inadequate understanding of who God really is. We have the problem of reducing God to the size of our biggest problem.  That’s. Not. Okay.

You see . . . I have this dream. My heart will always be in serving. It’s one of my favorite things. You can take this girl out of a foreign country, but never take the love of traveling and loving on God’s people out of her. Lately, I’ve been so down about not returning to one of my favorite countries anytime soon. It’s literally been all that I have been thinking about. I have to remind myself that there is a need here in the U.S and that I need to open my eyes up around me. It’s so hard sometimes, I know. You see 3^rd world countries are being broadcasted all over as something everyone needs to do to be a great Christian. This in itself is not completely true.  God has called each of us to do something great for Him. What I have realized in the last 4 months is that I don’t have to go out of the country (even though I desperately want to and love Mexico and Guatemala)  to make an impact on someone’s life. You see that’s the best part. It’s doing something far bigger then yourself for someone you don’t entirely know and knowing that they can’t repay you. You can serve in your backyard. You just need to go looking for a place to serve. You’ll see J

Constant Reminder

God is the beginning and the end, the alpha and the omega, the I AM. He is the God who makes things possible. Since being away at college, about 9 hours from home, i’ve learned budget the little income i have and really find myself and not only me, but God. I’ve learned to depend on Him each day. I don’t mean just praying to him i mean doing devotions and refilling my cup every day, hour, and minute. about a month into school my mom called me and informed me that a dear, dear friend and mentor of mine wouldn’t make it till Thanksgiving. This completely altered my brain. I was in the school mindset and then had to shift to prepare myself for a sudden death. I don’t handle death well, at all. For the next week my roommate, home friends, and family encouraged me while i was angry with God. I’m at the point now where i know it’s going to be okay. You see Brian is an incredible man of God and loves his family and friends down to his core. God doesn’t want to take him away from us he just wants to be with Him now. I imagine it in a way that if i had a child amazing as Brian i would want them to be in heaven with me too. All of what God has given you is a blessing. Never take advantage of it. The people he puts in your life have a reason to be there. They help you love, learn, and grow. God has authority and privilege to take them away from you. Don’t be angry with Him. He blessed you with them in the first place. Everyday i need to keep my focus on God. Treasure everyone in your life and always see the glass half full.

Transition Phase

Here it is friends and strangers, a post. My friends have been getting on my butt about not updating my blog.  Truth is I feel bad about not updating it since my last one. I’ve simply been trying to find the right thing to write about. I don’t really want to write about my top #5 makeups to use or 10 things to do to get a guy to notice you HA! That’s just not me. What I will write about though is what’s going on in my life right now. Now, hold your horses I’m not going to talk about what I do every hour of everyday and my deepest feelings. This is definitely not a diary post. Of course I’ll tell you about spiritual warfare and my latest read because everyone goes through this and maybe you can relate to this. Others and I call it the…. wait for it…“Transition phase.”

            I am a college freshman starting my next phase of life. Before the schedule gets crazy with work, class, and sports I read a book called “In a Pit With a Lion on a Snowy Day” by Mark Batterson. This book is honestly challenging for me but there are some key phrases that I just stopped reading and went Wow!  College is about becoming successful and find out who you are and well here are some things I got out of this book that I just must share. 

• Success: Do the best you can with what you have where you are, which means success is making the most of every opportunity.
• God is in the business of strategically positioning us in the right place at the right time.
• Lion chasers know God is bigger and more powerful than any problem they face in this world.
• Our biggest problems can be traced back to an inadequate understanding of who God is. Our problems seem really BIG because our God seem really SMALL.
• John 4:18 “there is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear”
•  Faith is EMBRACING uncertainty.

Mark just has an amazing way with words does he not? I’m still in the process of reading this book but I just love it. It is constantly reminding me that my plans for the future and God’s plans are two different things. Although we share some things in common I ultimately have to trust God when things don’t according to what I want. I can be a little selfish in the plans that I mapped out for myself. Everyone does that though. I think sometimes think God even puts us in tough situations that can crush our so called “dreams” to humble us and bring us back to our faith roots and trusting in Him. So, as I begin my embark to college life I cant help but squeal with excitement. The uncertainty that college brings about where your going to be in the next few years and what your going to do is in my opinion ‘normal’.  Having faith and trusting God is what he so desperately wants. Following God’s plan and not your own brings unexpected things and events. GRAB those because the best things in life come unexpected. 

Too Many Voices

So, If your like me i have a hard time distinguishing between what God wants me to do and what i want to do. Distinguishing between those two voices takes patience(another thing i’m not very good at). If what you think you are hearing agrees with scripture, if you see the doors open to you as you move forward, and if other people actually agree with what you are hearing then it just might be the Voice of God. Still, what if its the high hopes kicking in again?   a book i’m reading definitely answered that for me. Stick to what the Word says. What does the Bible command us Humans to do. If it follows that then stop questioning everything. I heard that the desires in you that you feel are impossible are the ones God put in you. God would never command you to do something that couldn’t be done.

“It’s the extreme moments that expand your worldview, lift you to new heights of fulfillment, test your faith, melt your heart, and encourage you to storm the gates and serve with NEW INTENSITY”

Smile = A Universal Language

Well, I’m back in the good ole midwest after a week of serving with Casas Por Cristo building a house for a family. I’m happy to be back and see some loved ones however i’m not happy that i had …

Mental preparation…

Leaving the states once again in 4 days!!!! ahhh i’m so excited to experience a new culture, place, and experience. Some things i’ve noticed when i’m back in the midwest is….”i don’t belong here”  it’s not that i don’t think its a great place to live its just i feel out of place living here. I was reading 1 Corinthians 7:17–Don’t be wishing you were someplace else or with someone else. Where you are right now is God’s place for you. Love and obey  and BELIEVE right there. I’m not quite sure which translation this one is but i constantly have to remind myself that i have to live in the here and now. I cant always be wishing i was someplace else. Of course i’ll be moving down to Oklahoma soon but still i need to be in the mindset of this. As i prepare mentally for this next mission trip i’m about to go on i remember this one phrase from a good book. Belief- not doubt, not suspicion, not fear, but belief- is your permission to allow God to work in your life……..So no matter what happens this next week in Guatemala i have to let God use me completely. This isn’t just for me either. I encourage everyone who is reading this to let GO of all your fear or doubt of the future and let GOD work in you!

P.s ill keep you posted on Guatemala! 🙂

Grumbling vs. Gratitude

Recently, I have been in the mopes about not returning to Mexico this summer. Well God being God changed that. I got a call a week ago that asked if I could fill a spot of this pastors  Mexico team. I was thrilled!!!!!! Except one thing was standing in my way—-work. I emailed my boss and told her everything. I told her how my heart is in missions and in Mexico and that I felt called to go again. I also mentioned the trip was in 2 weeks(short notice I know) but The Lord provided. Within a day I got word back from her and she told me to go and she would support me. immediently I just cried. I’m not much of a crier but WOW does Mexico just hit me in the spot. One of my favorite books “kisses from katie” has this in it. Not to mention its my favorite quote out of many. —we can let fear of something that is really small compared to the greatness of God cripple us. Or we can take a risk, do something to help someone else, make a person smile, change someone’s world. life to the fullest exists. It’s Available. All we have to do is decide to get up and embrace it!—-  she is soo right! I’m so tired of  going through the motions or waiting for the next big thing. Why not take that opportunity and run with it. I am extremely foolish to think work was standing in my way to go serve God and His people. Don’t get me wrong i respect my employer and wouldn’t just up and leave, but thinking that God wouldn’t make this happen because of work was Dumb. In my mind I needed to work. I needed the money. The last few months I have come to conclusions that everyone needs money and that I need to just ask and trust God “give us this day our daily bread” I need to stop worrying about tomorrow and trust God in the today.

It’s The Simple Things

First off…..HAPPY FRIDAY! You did it. You made it through the week, congratulations! Drinking and delivering coffee to good friends, a stranger smiling at you, a sunny day, and knowing no matter what you go through in life or do nothing will matter unless you have Jesus is what makes up my day today. Honestly, it’s the simple things that just make my day. When I think about the future sometimes I stress because I love plans. I love knowing what’s going to happen next and being prepared. That’s just who I am. God hates when we worry (I don’t blame him though) worrying sucks! As I was stressing this week I was looking at old childhood pictures today and remembering what it felt like to have no worries and just living in the here and now. I was recollecting memories of my grandpa who passed away a month ago and looking at pictures of his adorable smile and blunt spirit haha. Before he passed away a neighborhood girl wrote a documentary on his life and gave it to him. I read it a few weeks back and inside she quoted him on how he loved his kids and grandkids and was always excited to share with people on our accomplishments. He was so proud of us. This makes me smile. A song by Josh Wilson pops into my head. Here is my favorite part.

“Oh, I refuse to sit around and wait for someone else To do what God has called me to do myself I could choose not to move But I refuse”

I absolutely love these lyrics. My grandpa did what he loved and lived a beautiful life. This song is so me! Like I said it’s the simple things in life like a happy memory of someone, a favorite song, a smiling stranger, some GOOD coffee or sunny day that can make you revaluate your life and remember how truly blessed you are.

Distractions

okay, so yes i conformed to the iphone world and yes i do feel a tad guilty about it haha. I was one of those people who got mad at my friends who were always on their “smart phone” and i characterized everyone who had an iphone as an addicted internet junkie. You see i’m one of those weird people who actually would rather talk to someone face to face with no interuptions haha oopsie and now look what i have.  In life we have SOOO many distractions from God. Whether its an iphone, ipod, ipad…soo much “i” right?? We have Facebook, working out, fancy eating and all that. I guess you don’t need to exactly eliminate all these luxuries but look for ways  to welcome others into your life through them. The phrase time is money comes to play kind of. But when I say money I meen time is EVERYTHING. God doesn’t give us much time here on earth so why not use that time to do things worth something. Budget your time to bless and develop attitudes and habits of sacrifice for others. I’m not saying I don’t do this. Trust me I have those moments where i just love me some fancy eating and social media. I just need to remind myself of this verse, like on a weekly basis. “Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interest of others” —Philippians 2:3-4